Why You’re Not Going Back to Your Old Self (And What to Do Instead)

Why You’re Not Going Back to Your Old Self (And What to Do Instead)

Half of my closet is currently sitting on my bedroom floor — inside out and discombobulated from me trying on every option before a party tonight. There are some really incredible people going, and honestly? I’m nervous.

A friend of mine found that a little surprising.

“You still get nervous going to these things?!” she asked.

“Every single time,” I told her.

“But you keep going?”

“Every single time.”

It has never been easy for me to walk into a room full of powerful strangers, get on a stage, or show up at a big conference. I was uncomfortable when I first started my business, and things only got harder after I lost both of my parents.

After they died, I made myself a quiet promise: I would not go to any big gatherings or conferences until I felt back to my old self. I would wait to apply to speak at events until I felt better. I would not join any masterminds until I felt social again. I would not pour energy into growing my business until I felt more like the version of me that was relaxed, comfortable around strangers, and not overwhelmed by loud music and louder people.

I waited and waited, fully expecting to flip inside out like a Transformer and become my old self again.

It never happened.

There Is No “Normal” Coming to Save You

Here is what I have come to understand: when you have been through something really big — loss, divorce, having kids, illness, a major career change — you do not go back to who you were before. That version of you is gone. Not in a devastating way, just in a real way.

There was never really a “normal” to return to.

There is just now.

I share this because I know I am not alone in the waiting game. So many of us put our lives and businesses on hold for a feeling that is never going to show up the way we expect it to.

Maybe you are waiting to start your online business until you feel ready.

Maybe you are waiting to take photos for your brand until you look a certain way (I am talking to myself here, too).

Maybe you are just waiting for things to feel familiar again, even though you cannot quite name what you are waiting for.

This is your gentle nudge to stop waiting and get back out there.

Try Again — On Purpose

The truth is, we deal with what we have, when we have it. We do not get to pause life until conditions are perfect. We have to try again, imperfectly and on purpose.

That is exactly what my friend Steve Kamb writes about in his new book, How to Try Again. Steve teaches readers to give up more often, fail smarter, and learn the art of starting over. It is about ditching unrealistic expectations, failing with more compassion toward yourself, and showing up again with humor, resilience, and openness.

This is not sponsored — unless “sponsored by friendship” counts. I read it, loved it, and think it will genuinely help anyone who has been waiting for the right moment to try again.

We are not going back. But we can absolutely go forward.

Links You’ll Love

It’s the LAST DAY to get 50% off Kajabi for 12 months. Sign up here→ (affiliate link)

​Listen to my interview on the Growth in Reverse podcast, “She made $500k with one launch. Here’s how.” → Listen on Apple, Spotify, YouTube​

ON YOUR TERMS®️

Bad Habits that Built My 7-Figure Business

I pulled back the curtain and shared 11 of my “bad habits” that I genuinely believe built my multi 7-figure business.

I shared the stuff I do, don’t do, and intentionally skip out on — and why I think it’s actually the reason my entire business has grown and survived all these years.

LISTEN HERE→ 11 ‘Bad Habits’ That Actually Built My 7-Figure Business