Why Finding Your True Fans Matters More Than Going Viral

Why Finding Your True Fans Matters More Than Going Viral

I’ll be honest with you: I can be the meanest person to myself I know. If they handed out Oscars for it, I’d win Best Director of Insults and Best Producer of Stories That Make You Sound Like an Awful Human Being.

A few months ago, an Ultimate Bundle® customer sent me a handwritten note. I love snail mail, so this already had me. But what she wrote inside was something I wasn’t prepared for. She told me I had changed her life, impacted her in ways I’d never fully know, and that my product gave her the ability to leave her job and help others the way I’d helped her.

It was hard to take in. Not just the words, but the fact that this person went out of her way, in real, non-AI-generated handwriting, to tell me.

And yet, my brain immediately tried to look away.

The Negativity Bias Is Real (And It’s Sabotaging You)

Here’s something worth naming: it is shockingly easy to dismiss genuine praise, and shockingly hard to move on from a single cruel comment. That’s not a personal flaw. That’s negativity bias, and it affects almost every entrepreneur I know.

We are neurologically wired to let one harsh DM outweigh ten heartfelt messages. Understanding that doesn’t make it disappear, but it does make it easier to catch yourself when it’s happening.

What Martin Short and Three Amigos Taught Me About Success

Have you watched the new Netflix documentary Marty, Life is Short? If you love Martin Short (and honestly, who doesn’t), it’s worth your time.

There’s a story in it about his 1986 film Three Amigos. By Hollywood’s standards, it was a flop. Commercially, it underperformed. But it quietly built a devoted following over the years. People genuinely loved it. Like, handwritten-note levels of love. It eventually became a cult classic.

What struck me was this: when fans approached Marty to tell him how much Three Amigos meant to them, he would wave them off. “But it was such a flop!” he’d say. He was so locked onto Hollywood’s definition of success that he couldn’t receive what the people in front of him were trying to give him.

He couldn’t see that to the people who actually mattered, he was a massive success.

The Metric That Actually Matters in Your Business

Standing there with that handwritten note in my hands, I could hear all the usual voices: You’re falling behind. Your Instagram should be growing more. Your email list should be growing more. You didn’t sell enough books.

I’ve heard these thoughts so many times they practically have their own theme song.

But instead of letting them take over, I put a hand on my heart and tried to actually receive what this person had given me.

Because here’s the truth: I don’t have a New York Times bestselling book. My podcast isn’t heard by millions. By certain measures, there are plenty of things I haven’t achieved yet.

But I have my own una amiga. A real person who was moved enough to find a stamp, find my address, and write to me. That’s not nothing. That’s everything.

How to Start Listening to Your Fans Instead of Your Inner Critic

If you’re building an online business, you’ve probably already had a moment like this, even if it was smaller. A DM you didn’t know what to do with. A comment that made you tear up a little. A reply to an email that stopped you in your tracks.

Here’s what I want you to try:

• Save them. Create a folder, a note, a screenshot album. When someone says something kind about your work, keep it somewhere you can find it.
• Pause before you dismiss. Notice when you want to wave it off with “but my numbers aren’t big enough yet.” That impulse is the negativity bias talking.
• Actually reply. One of the best things you can do for your business is to make the people who love your work feel seen. Respond to the kind messages with as much energy as you give to fixing problems.
• Let it count. You don’t need a million followers for your work to matter. You need the right people. Even one amiga who truly gets it is worth more than a thousand indifferent clicks.

Maybe you haven’t hit Hollywood-level commercial success in your business yet. But I’d be willing to bet you have a few amigos who really love what you do.

I’d rather listen to them than the meany in my head any day.

Links You’ll Love

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ON YOUR TERMS®️

I’m sorry, but someone had to say it

I’d apologized one time too many for simply existing in the bread aisle of Trader Joe’s when I snapped.

I’m so done apologizing for everything, I thought.

In this episode, I’m talking about saying sorry for everything, feeling bad for existing sometimes, and working with that part of ourselves that wants to stop saying sorry and start saying, “I’M HERE!”

LISTEN HERE→ I’m Sorry, But Someone Had to Say It (On Apologizing For Everything)