The Arrival Fallacy Is Quietly Sabotaging Your Business

When I Get My Dream House, I Won’t Be Happy

I couldn’t click on the listing fast enough.

It’s not often your dream house goes on the market. And it’s even rarer when it goes on the market directly across the street from you.

To know me is to know how obsessed I am with my neighborhood. It’s one of those places where, if you’re lucky enough to snag a house, you never leave. So when a home popped up right on the ocean with 180-degree waterfront views, hundreds of feet of private beachfront, a boat dock, and a pool, I was already picturing my life inside it.

I’d wake up in the morning, step out onto the patio with my coffee, wave to the boaters and the ferry as they sailed past, and meander down to the water for a morning swim.

It was perfect. And I wanted it badly.

But I had to be honest with myself about why.

The Arrival Fallacy Is Running Your Life (And Mine)

When things start feeling a little sticky in life, my brain does something sneaky. It finds one specific thing and convinces me that when I get that thing, everything will finally feel okay.

Psychologists call this the arrival fallacy, and it’s the quiet belief that happiness is waiting for you on the other side of a goal.

For me, it sounds like this:

• When I get more privacy trees in the backyard, I can finally relax.
• When I get on that podcast, I will finally feel like I’ve made it.
• When I lose 5 more pounds, I’ll finally feel confident.
• When I get this house on the ocean, I’ll finally feel at peace.

My anxiety hops from one of these fixations to the next, laser-focused until I either achieve it or realize a new one has taken its place, like whack-a-mole. The moment I knock one down, another pops up.

That house on the ocean? It would probably just unlock a brand new fear about my house falling into the ocean.

Why This Matters for Your Business

Here’s where this gets relevant to you.

If you’re building a business right now, I’d bet there’s a version of this playing out in your mind too. You’re telling yourself some version of:

• When I hit 10,000 followers, I’ll finally feel credible.
• When I make six figures, I’ll finally feel like I’ve made it.
• When I sell out this launch, I’ll finally be able to relax.

And here’s the truth I’ve had to learn the hard way: no matter how many zeros are behind my revenue number, it never feels like I’ve “made it.” The goalpost just moves.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have goals. It means you can’t outsource your peace of mind to them.

What Actually Changes When You Hit Your Goals

When you get where you want to go, it comes with its own new set of challenges. The problems don’t disappear, they just upgrade. What changes is your capacity to handle them, because of everything you’ve already navigated to get there.

But if you’re white-knuckling your way through the hard parts of business right now because you believe everything will be smooth sailing once you level up, I want to gently tell you: it won’t be.

You won’t be happy because of your business. You’ll be happy if you learn to appreciate where you are, right now, before you arrive at wherever you think you’re going.

That means detaching your sense of worth and well-being from metrics. From follower counts. From revenue. From podcast placements. From any of the external markers we use to tell ourselves we’ve finally earned the right to feel good.

The Book I Wrote to Set the Record Straight

This is exactly why I wrote When I Start My Business, I’ll Be Happy. I wanted to be direct about what building a business is actually meant to do for your life, and what it was never designed to do.

Inside, I share the marketing strategies that helped me grow my email list to over 63,000 subscribers, how to create fewer pieces of content that have more impact, how to sell more of your digital products and courses, and how to stay sane while doing all of it.

But more than the tactics, it’s a reminder that you don’t have to wait until you arrive somewhere to feel like it’s all worth it.

Right now, through April 29, when you grab a copy of the book you’ll also get a free ticket to my live book club call on April 30. It’s essentially a 90-minute business coaching session with me for the price of the book.

TO JOIN BOOK CLUB:

1. Buy my book anywhere you want Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, Inkwood(NJ), or Vermont Book Shop
2. Fill out this form on this page

Will I see you at book club? Did you grab a copy?! Comment below and let me know so I can personally thank you.

Links You’ll Love

Email marketing wiz, Liz Wilcox, is hosting a free email engagement summit that starts today. Each audio lesson from email marketing pros is <10 mins!

Pop in headphones, take the pup out for a walk & grow your list. ​Grab your free seat→​ (affiliate link)

If you’re an over-apologizer like me, you’ll love my Substack essay this week. ​Read it here→​“I’m sorry, but I had to write this”

If you think you might want to write a book one day but have no idea what the process looks like (or where to start), I sat down with my friends Jo & Lyndon from The Sustainable Creator podcast to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my book, break down the writing process, and the steps I took to get a Big 5 book deal. ​Listen here->

NEW EPISODE

Why Your Launch Actually Flopped

You’ve watched everyone else’s big launches, sold-out offers, and climbing revenue numbers, and you can’t help but wonder…

“What am I doing wrong?!” because you want that, too.

In this week’s episode of the podcast, I’m sharing the crucial step everyone skips before they ever launch (which is what causes most of them to fail before lift off).

🎧 ​LISTEN HERE→​ The Step Everyone Skips Before They Launch

Learn how to confidently setup your online business without worrying you’re making legal mistakes in my free legal class, 5 Steps to Legally Protect & Grow Your Online Business.

In my free legal class, you’ll learn:

• if the fear of doing something wrong is blocking your potential
• what your website needs to be legally sound
• which contracts you need that will totally save your (vegan) bacon
• how to form your business the right way to protect YOU
• the only way to keep copycats from stealing your content (it’s not what you think!)

Ready to breathe a gigantic sigh of relief?