203. 5 Things to Tell Yourself When You Feel Like Quitting

203. 5 Things to Tell Yourself When You Feel Like Quitting

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Feel like quitting? Don’t worry, I’ve been there. Being an entrepreneur can be super lonely, especially when you’re struggling. That’s why in this episode I share 5 things to tell yourself when you feel like quitting. I use them myself and I really hope you find them helpful too.

203. 5 Things to Tell Yourself When You Feel Like Quitting

In this episode, you’ll hear… 

  • The power of giving yourself permission to quit, or better yet, pause
  • How to stop equating yourself with your results
  • Why you should ask yourself, “Am I done or am I disappointed?”  
  • The importance to expect things to be hard
  • Why you need to honestly evaluate your level of consistency, time, and focus

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Give yourself permission to quit

If you have been telling yourself and others that you just might quit, take a second to give yourself permission to quit. Remember, entrepreneurship is a choice. You can choose to do something else. When you give yourself permission to quit, do you truly want to? Or would a better option be an intentional pause? Maybe take a break to rebuild your focus and creativity.

You are not your results

Don’t quit because you think bad results mean something about you as a person. Don’t quit because of the stories you tell yourself about your results– I’m not smart enough, I’m not likable, etc. Instead, focus on what you need to adjust about your product, your marketing or social media strategy.Entrepreneurship is an experiment, which means some things will work and some things won’t.

Am I done or am I disappointed?

Ask yourself, “Am I done or am I disappointed?” It is totally valid to be hurt. People can be mean. Algorithms can be impossible. Failure doesn’t feel good. Validate your feelings. Have your moments. But separate that from your decision of if you really want to give up.

Hard is a given

Running your own business is going to be hard. It just is. No one is coming to save you. You have to be your own knight in shining armor. Embrace the hard. These challenges are what make entrepreneurship so engaging and rewarding.

Consistency, time, and focus

Before you quit, do an honest evaluation. Have you truly invested the consistency, time, and focus needed to make your business successful? Is there any strategy you can tweak to help with your burnout? Are you just following whatever marketing trends are being regurgitated by someone on social media, or are you really digging in to understand the mechanics of what works for your specific business? Don’t give up until you have given yourself a fair shot.

Wanting to quit is valid. Quitting itself is valid. Just don’t torture yourself by letting limiting beliefs and false self narratives swirl around in your head. Do a clear-headed evaluation of your feelings and your strategies, then move forward with confidence and peace of mind. And remember, you aren’t alone! Send me an email or DM me on Instagram if you ever need to chat.

Download Episode Transcript

Sam Vander Wielen:
Hey there, and welcome back to On Your Terms. I’m your host, Sam Vander Wielen. And here on the podcast every week, I chat with you about some things legal, about legally protecting your online business. But we also talk about what it’s really like to run an online business and a lot of the marketing strategies that I use to grow my own. So welcome back if you’re a returning listener and welcome if you’re new. I’m so grateful for all of you being here.

I wanted to give you this episode today because I wanted you to have a few things to have in your back pocket when you feel like giving up on your business, or even when you just feel like giving up on a certain project or strategy that you’re doing in your business because you feel like it’s not working, right? I wanted this to be something you could come back to if you needed it. Or even just somebody to talk to, honestly, if you don’t have anybody else in your life, who’s an entrepreneur or who really understands what you’re going through, it can be very, very lonely.

I also want to tell you before we get started today that for right now, at least, I am going to be posting one episode per week. So I have, in the past I did over a year, I did two brand new episodes every week. And then for a while, when we’ve been really busy, we’ve been playing some replays and bringing back stuff from the archive. You can let me know if you’ve really liked that or not.

But this is the year, for many different reasons, this is the year of like doing less, but better. That’s the way that I keep thinking about it. For one, I’m writing my book right now, and writing the book has been a lot, and I know that I’m in the midst of writing kind of the last, half last part of it at this point. But I have so much left to go in terms of like, once I finish the full manuscript, I have to then go back to the beginning, and my editor has already sent me the revisions for the first section that I sent her. And then I’m going to get the second one soon and then have to do that one and do the third section and then the entire book all over again. And then it goes to a copy editor and then we have to do revisions there. And like, there’s just so much, not to mention all of the marketing planning that’s going on for it, and all of the stuff behind the scenes that’s related to launching a book. So it’s a lot.

And then I also, if you get my emails, you know that, I guess it was back in either December or January, I went to one time per week emails and that was because of a survey that I ran to my list where people were like, actually, I would love one email instead of two and just make it like have everything in it instead of having these two kind of split up. So I’ve been doing that. That’s been going really well. You all seem to really like that.

I thought I would kind of do the same thing with the podcast and give you time to digest, make these episodes better, hopefully. That’s always my goal is to continue to get better, but also to give you less content so you just have more to digest and more, I don’t know, you can like more integration time. I never want to overwhelm people. I mean, my — I think one of the downsides to like being someone who wants to help and really loves what they do and likes this part of creating is that we see giving people more content as a good thing. I think I’m being helpful, but then at some time, it can kind of like backfire and not be as helpful because people feel overwhelmed.

So you can let me know what you think about getting one episode a week or two episodes a week, or if you feel overwhelmed or all kinds of stuff, I’ll see how you like this one episode a week for a while. I think for right now, it’s just the busiest season for the books, this is like the last sprint and finishing the book. And then, like I said, there’s going to be this whole editing thing, which is like, I think just as hard as writing the book in the first place.

So yeah, it’s a lot, but this is the year of quality over quantity. I invite you to do the same. Honestly, whenever I have stepped back and done this in my business, when I’ve been like, okay. I’m putting out too much content. I want to like hit pause, simplify it. We’re going to talk about that actually in today’s episode. But I want to like simplify my strategy, strip down to basics, do what I know works, put out less but do better is always had such a positive impact in my business.

Yes, in the bottom line, like literally financially, it has helped my business when I’ve done this. I think because it gets you out of that, like cyclical, like you’re just running around creating content all the time and then you’re not like actually moving your business forward. But also it encourages you to be like, if I’m only putting out one podcast episode this week, is this the one I want it to be? Like is this helpful? So yeah, that’s my two cents. You can take that for whatever it’s worth to you.

So let’s hop into today’s topic and talk about what to do when you feel like giving up. Like I said, you might not have other entrepreneurs around you. You also just might not want to talk about it even if you do know other entrepreneurs because you might feel like embarrassed or like there’s something wrong with you or you’re doing something wrong, and seemingly everybody else is doing so well, right? It’s easy to feel like that as an entrepreneur.

And I remember in the earlier days when I did have friends, a lot of friends who were like at a similar stage and I would be hitting roadblocks, like it was always tough to be like, “Hey, this isn’t going well for me right now. Or like things aren’t going well”. Right. And seeing other people growing and I didn’t feel completely. Like I didn’t want to like damper the party and be like, “Well, actually things aren’t going well for me, or I’m really confused about this”. Like everybody wants to act like they understand what’s going on and that they are doing fine, but it’s just not always the case. And it can leave you feeling kind of lonely.

So there are five things that I know I like to tell myself and that I would encourage you to tell yourself when you really feel like giving up either on your business or on some specific project. The first is that I want you to give yourself permission to quit. Like the very first thing that I always tell people when they ask me about this is like, yeah, you can quit. Quitting is totally fine, right?

Taking a pause is also okay. Like maybe you don’t quit permanently, but stepping back, stepping away, it’s totally fine. If you’re really truly burnt out, do it. If you haven’t yet, get help, right? If you can get help, if you are privileged enough and have access enough, get the help that you need and deserve to manage the very real and very stressful stuff that comes with running your own business, or maybe like the pressure you’re feeling in your own life, being financially responsible for yourself and all of that kind of stuff.

So you should get help if you really need it and you should pause or completely leave if you really want to. No one is saying, keep going. No one’s saying like quitting’s terrible. You’re a terrible person. There’s a difference though, between doing that because you really want to, or because you really need to. And doing that because it’s like a response or reaction to something because you don’t feel like things are going that great or you’re quitting because you’re telling yourself a bunch of stories or you’re disappointed in some results, right?

Natasha Samuel from Shine with Natasha, she always says, and she said recently in one of her emails, she said, there’s a difference between pausing with intention and pausing as an excuse. And I really, really agree with this and can resonate with this attitude because it is true. It’s like pausing with intention is totally fine. I think that giving yourself that permission takes a little bit of this, like, I don’t know, almost like rebellion out of the equation.

I remember when I was an attorney and I was working at the firm and I was like, always going around threatening to quit. Like I was telling everybody I’m going to quit. I’m going to quit. I’m going to quit. And I remember my husband, Ryan, eventually was just like, “Okay, quit. Quit today. Go ahead, quit today”. And then it was so funny because when he told me that, I was like, well, wait, I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what would I do about health insurance? And I haven’t planned. I haven’t saved.

It was kind of a sobering reality to be like, you have permission. You can do these things, right? I had to make a choice. Like in that case, for example, I did want to quit. I didn’t want to leave, but I also had to realize I needed to get a couple of things in order. I needed to do some more research and get my head on straight so that I could have a plan. And then I did — I could leave, and I did, right. That’s exactly what I did. But knowing that I had permission, it wasn’t like no one was forcing me to be there, right?

Just like no one is forcing you to be an entrepreneur, no one’s forcing you to be even on social media, for example. I have my days where I act like a baby. I have tantrums about social media and stuff. I’m like, no one’s forcing you to be on social media. I could run this business without it. I don’t know if everything would be as good or if things would go as well or something like that, but no one says that I have to be there. No one’s forcing me to create videos. No one’s forcing me to write emails. So all of this stuff is a choice, right?

And so pausing with intention would be a choice too, right? And saying this is not either just something going on with me or maybe you’re going through an extremely stressful time, versus pausing as an excuse is like, I’m just pissed that this isn’t going well. I feel like I post on Instagram, nobody replies. I offered a course, and nobody bought it.

By the way, get in line, so did I. All right. I I’ve, I’ve offered courses that nobody bought. I’ve sat on live calls for courses that nobody showed up to. It’s super embarrassing. It’s really hard. It’s really, really hard to do, right. That would be leaving though, as an excuse, because just saying like if — okay, let’s take the example of the time. This is a true story that I sold an online course to a handful of people, less than five. And there were live calls included with that course. I went to go host the live call. Nobody came.

And I remember just how terrible, I remember exactly where I was sitting in my old house before we moved to New York, and I was so upset. It was like at night, and I was just so upset, so embarrassed. I felt like it brought me right back to middle school, walking into the little lunchroom and not knowing who to sit with or that I didn’t have anybody to sit with. It brought me right back to elementary school, standing up against that brick wall, people picking people for their teams, and you just are realizing as the numbers are dwindling, that you’re the last person. It was terrible, right? It was terrible.

I remember the stories I told myself at that time. I remember saying like, no one came because no one cares. No one came because I’m not good enough for this. Nobody cares because they didn’t even like this. People probably just bought it to be nice, right? They don’t even need this. This is so useless. I completely wasted my time. Like I’m terrible. This course is terrible. The whole, I mean, I spiraled, right.

That though, if I had quit would have been an excuse because those are all stories I was telling myself. I mean, with space and time and becoming a better marketer and all these kinds of things, from the outside looking in, I can see now, I’m like, oh, I know exactly why nobody showed up to this thing. Right. I mean, literally in reality, I feel like I didn’t even advertise it. Like I had a handful of people, I didn’t even tell them — I don’t remember like reminding them about coming to this live call, nor do I remember planning with them, like serving them, for example, as to what time would work for them for this live call. And there were only like five people.

So it’s just funny, like there’s so many practical things that I’ve learned since then that I wouldn’t do again. Even in the creation of the course and like who I targeted for the course, whether or not live calls were even something they wanted, there’s just so many issues that have nothing to do with me being a good person, a good teacher worth showing up for, all of that kind of stuff. Right. That would have been an excuse if I had quit then.

I just think knowing that being an entrepreneur, running your business, being on social media, trying a YouTube channel, starting a podcast is a choice. Can take the pressure off, right? Nobody’s forcing you to be on TikTok. No one’s forcing you to have to point to things and dance around on a screen, right? It’s a choice. And when we make choices, we accept what comes with it, right?

I think about this actually a lot with TikTok for my own business where I’ve had a bunch of people be like, well, you should be on TikTok. There’s so much opportunity for you there. There are people doing what you’re doing over there. You could blow up there. You could really grow your business there. I could, and I’m choosing not to, for right now, right? I have no idea if I would ever do that, but like right now, I know I can’t.

Do I also understand that that comes with some downside? Sure, but maybe. I mean, who knows really how it would go? I also know it comes with a lot of costs that people don’t tend to discuss in these cases. People treat these things like a lot of like, oh, you have to be on TikTok, TikTok is where it’s blowing up, but nobody talks about the energy it takes to produce that kind of content. No one talks about then what happens when it does get really popular there.

It’s also a lot of stress and it adds it. Can my business handle that? Can I handle it? Can the team handle it? There are a lot of things, right? For me personally, as you heard about in the beginning, I’m like no, I’m good. I’m good doing less and just making it more impactful. Do I understand that there’s more opportunity? Yeah, of course. If I was on YouTube and on a Tik Tok and I don’t know, had some other thing going, I’m sure things could be even better. Wow. Okay. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Right.

It’s a choice I’m making to not do that. No one’s forcing me to be there. No one’s forcing me not to take it. I’m choosing. So I feel like approaching it more as a choice helps to kind of chill out some of that resentment and almost like the anger that you create, the resentment you create with somebody who doesn’t even exist. Like you’re mad at social media for making you be on social or for people like the way they engage on social and it’s like, but no one’s forcing you to be there. So we have to take ownership of that.

The second thing that I like to tell myself when I want to quit is that you are not your results, good or bad. You are not your results. Don’t quit because you think it means something about you. Like I can’t stick to anything, I’m not worth listening to, I’m not smart enough, people aren’t watching me because I’m not this, that, or the other thing. I’m not enough of some variety.

No, in reality, what’s going on in your business is not a statement of you. It could be something very logistical, like strategy, your strategy, timing, product choice, like the kind of product that you’ve created. Have you done the right research in terms of finding the right client fit and like creating the right product for them? Go back and listen to my kickstart your business series, if you haven’t yet, parts one through four, it’s a four-part series. I walk you through properly researching your audience, properly approaching, creating a product for that audience, not creating something just because you think it’s a good idea, really creating something that other people want and need. It could just be finding the right fit, adjusting your messaging, like simplifying your strategy.

But whatever it is, whatever’s going on in your business, whether you don’t have enough clients, you’re not making enough money, you’re getting more nos than yeses, it doesn’t mean anything about you as a person. One of the best things you can do from the very start, no matter where your business is at, in preparation for your business growing one day, I mean, or every, honestly, regardless of whether it grows or not is separating yourself, starting to begin the work of separating yourself from your business, good or bad, because even when things are going well, you are not your business. I always say you’re not your revenue, right?

So when you’re making a lot of money, that doesn’t mean you’re a good person. Then when you’re not making any money, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or vice versa, right? You’re not a martyr for not making money and just helping everybody out. It’s just, it doesn’t mean anything about you. It just is, right. And it’s probably when it’s not going well, it’s probably a result to your strategy. Well, and even as I say that, I’m like, well, when it’s going well, it’s a result to your strategy, honestly. So I really think that it’s helpful, no matter where you’re at, to start the work of separating yourself as a person, not seeing, not making it about you, not making the results mean something about you.

The third thing I would tell yourself if you want to quit is whether — ask yourself, am I done or am I disappointed? Or am I done or am I dizzy? So I want you to think about, are you really done? Like we talked about in the beginning, or are you just bummed about how something’s going? Are you disappointed of the results? Are you disappointed in like the effort versus the payoff, right? I hear from a lot of you where you feel like you’re working really hard, but you’re not seeing the results necessarily.

Are you done or disappointed? Are you done or are you dizzy? Like, are you done or you just keep bouncing around? You’re trying different things, and you feel like anything’s working because you’re dizzy, right? You’re just like, I’ve tried this, I’ve tried that, I’ve tried this, I’ve tried that. But you haven’t tried something specific, a specific strategy that’s simple, intentional, and targeted for a consistent and long period of time, right, because those things can be fixed.

Like the things we’re talking about, like being disappointed in results of something, feeling like you’re dizzy, like you’re trying everything, that stuff can be fixed because that’s probably part of the problem. You’re probably like contributing to the failure in that way, right, just in the wrong approach or something like that. Those things can be fixed.

And as we’re now going to talk about in number four. Hard is a given, right? This is all to be expected. Like you’re bouncing around, you’re trying to figure out how something’s going, something not going well, things having disappointing results. It’s a given. This is part of the process, right? First, I want you to validate your experience when you feel like quitting and saying like, this is hard, or this can be tough, or it is hard to put something out there and have nobody buy it. That’s hard. It’s frustrating. It’s embarrassing. It’s hurtful. Right?

You have all kinds of very valid feelings about that. That makes sense to me. And you’re just like anybody else who would feel the same exact way, right. But years and years ago, I had a coach, Jamie Mandel, who’s fantastic. Love Jamie so much. Jamie said to me, like when I would hit like bumps right in the road, like I would get mean comments or like somebody would write something mean about me or something like this, and Jimmy would say to me, what if we just started to think of all this stuff?

Like when it happens, right, which is few and far between, it’s rare, you get way more positive stuff than you get the negative stuff. But what if, when you saw that stuff or you had that unexpected speed bump, you said to yourself, this is just all to be expected. This is all part of the plan, right? This comes with the territory. Whatever you want to say to yourself, like this comes with the territory. This is the cost of doing business. That’s what I think to myself all the time, like this is the cost of doing business. It’s just what happens, right?

It can feel a little less frustrating when, first of all, I think it gives you this like feeling of control, right, of being like, well, yeah, I knew this was going to happen. Like I knew that the bigger you get, the more eyeballs that are on your stuff. The more you put yourself out there, the more vulnerable you are, the more other people are going to have a reaction to that, for example. The more that you fully own who you are, you’re going to inspire a whole ton of people to do the same for themselves. You’re also going to make a handful of people feel very uncomfortable because they’re going to project onto you their perceived inability to do the same for themselves, right?

So it is part of the deal, I think, of having a business, especially in this way of like being on social media or just being more forward facing, let’s just put it that way, and having more of your like personality and personal brand front and center. I think it’s just part of it. Like you’re going to hit speed bumps. It’s also part of it that things aren’t always going to work out right. Things are going to be sticky.

Things in social media, for example, like. I would encourage you not even just in social media, and I would say in really anything you’re doing, whether it’s like you’re focusing on your email marketing strategy, social media, your YouTube channel or podcasts, you’re marketing your business in any way online, one of the things I like to remind myself is that a lot of us are figuring this out in real time. It’s part of why I don’t like you listening to so many gurus about like, oh, you have to follow this strategy, or this is the way to do it, or you have to do it this way, don’t do it that way. It’s like, how do you know?

We’re doing this in real time. This stuff changes so fast by the time you create a course about it or post something about it, it’s like over. Right? A lot of the strategies and the more like viral, I don’t know, trends, I guess, of something to jump on the bandwagon for, they’re fast and they turn over and people don’t understand. If you’ve listened to the podcast before, you’ve heard me talk about this a lot. And I write about this a lot in my book is like, people don’t understand the mechanism of what they’re telling you to do online. Right? So a lot of people are like, if you post this kind of real, like do X, Y, Z, and then your Reel will be successful. Why is that kind of Reel speaking to people? Right.

Just when I’m recording this, the Superbowl was a couple of days ago and I’m obsessed with ads. And so I watch all this stuff about like the breakdown of ads afterwards. And when you listen to experts talk about ads and particularly Superbowl ads and why certain ones stood out and were so successful and were like beloved by viewers, you’ll hear them explain why. Like this ad tugged at the heartstrings, this ad had nostalgia, it was funny, right, so it got people laughing. It had this like kind of storyline that made people pay attention. And when people can pay attention all the way to the end, there’s like a hook and it ended with this very powerful, emotional grab and it got them to pay attention.

That is why people like the ad. Not just like if you create an ad that does X, Y, and Z, it will be successful, but why is that ad so successful? Right? And so a lot of times you’re not hearing this in people’s explanation online as to like when they’re giving you tips and strategies and selling you courses and stuff like this, they don’t always understand the mechanism of what they’re teaching you. They’re just regurgitating trends, right? They’re just like taking like an example of what they saw and then telling you that that’s what you should do. But truly, it’s about digging in and understanding.

And when you truly dig in and understand, there’s a lot of experimentation that goes on. Right. So the ad that might work for one person might not work for another. A post that might work for Natasha who I mentioned earlier, if she creates a certain kind of Reel, and then I go to try to create that similar Reel, but like with my subject matter for my audience, just because it worked well for her does not mean it will work well for me.

So I need to understand more of the mechanism of why something works so that I can truly adopt it, not only to my subject area, but to my style, my vibe, my approach, my clients who like the messaging, right, of what I know really speaks to them, what doesn’t speak to them. It might not be the same as Natasha. But if — not to use the Dutch as an example, but like if something that Natasha does as a Reel, for example, works really well for her. I have to be able to dissect it and translate it over into my own methods, right.

And so that’s why it’s like, this stuff is hard because a lot of it is experimentation. We are learning in real time and adjusting your expectations that there is no magic bullet. There is no magic formula. There is no perfect method. There’s no thing that if anyone sells it to you, that if you do it, it’s automatically going to work for you.

It is going to be hard work. It’s going to be failure. It’s going to be strikeouts. It’s going to be, yes, hitting major home runs and guess what a whole lot of singles, doubles, and probably some whiffs, right? There’s going to be a lot in between. And that is going to take time, practice, reps, consistency, motivation, a lot of motivation, self-motivation, not from others because you’re going to have to get back up on the horse every day, right?

So that is why I made number four, like hard as a given, this is all to be expected because if you approach these things this way, and you say like part of what’s to be expected is that I’m out here experimenting, there is no person coming to rescue me, there’s no white knight with a marketing genius, magic pill who’s going to tell me exactly what to do to make this all easier, this is part of it. And in fact, I would encourage you and really love it if you would just embrace it. Because to me, this is part of entrepreneurship, and this is like such a cool part of entrepreneurship.

Our job is different every single day. It keeps me on my toes. Literally nothing is the same about marketing my business today here in 2024 than it was in 2016 and 2017 when I started, right? I think that’s awesome. If I was a lawyer right now, still practicing lawyer, and I was working at a firm, I would be writing about case law from 50 years ago still. I would be arguing cases using the same laws that have been on the books for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, right?

My job never changed. The way that you wrote, wrote a brief, never changed. The rules and the decorum around going and arguing a motion in court were old. And they were older than dirt written by old white men that were put in place for old white men to go and carry out. That would have been my life. How lucky am I that I get to wake up every day and do something so different?

Now, do I have my days where I want to like punch my computer screen because I’m like, I’m so sick of this fricking algorithm and I’m so sick of hearing about how this doesn’t work anymore, and that strategy doesn’t work anymore, and nobody wants to do that anymore, and you have to change this? Yeah, of course. Right. And I have my moment. I validate myself. I’d say this is annoying, this is frustrating, I hate that.

I choose to be on a social media platform for example that I don’t understand the algorithm for, and I don’t know who does, and it’s constantly changing, and we don’t have full information yet. We’re like playing the game. It’s like, we don’t have the rules, the game we’re playing, but I utilize every tip that we’ve talked about today. I’m like I’m choosing to be on social. It’s kind of fun that it’s up for grabs, right? And nobody really knows.

So I got to stop looking to everybody else and thinking somebody’s got the answer for me, experiment, create a simple strategy, stick to what I know works, look at my data, look at my clients, know the messages that work for them and stick to that, right? This is a given. It’s all to be expected. It’s all part of the process.

Now, last but not least, the fifth thing to tell yourself. I think it’s more of a reality check to tell yourself, once we’ve gone through all the rest ruins, we’ve separated ourselves from our results, we validated what we’re feeling, we understand that building a business is hard, I want you to step back and analyze like as if you could see your business on a movie screen. I want you to look at whether you’ve been consistent, whether you’ve been consistent for a period of time, whether you’ve given this thing time and whether you’ve been focused.

So consistency, time and focus. Those are the three things I really want you to look at when you feel like quitting. Because I think that once we’ve determined like you don’t truly want to quit, it might be because of some other stuff, these are the three things that really matter and could turn the ship around and point us in a better direction. So when you’re not truly burnt out, you’re not truly done, a lot of these things can be fixed by having a focused strategy.

You need a simple strategy that is intentionally put together that you commit to carrying out for a period of time. I mean, I would say ideally at least three to six months, right. If it were me, I would probably create a very simple strategy of like focusing on building an email list and picking one of the big three platforms to create content on, either a podcast, a YouTube channel, or SEO optimized blog posts, and I would drive traffic to those things using social media, right?

I would build my community on social media. I would talk about my freebies so that I would drive traffic to my email list. I would email my list once a week, really educational content, and then I would sell to them when the time is right. Right. I would really just create a very simple strategy, just peel back all the stuff, throw away all the guck that you don’t need.

And maybe this is the time for you to ask yourself, are you trying to do too much? Are you trying to do like show up in too many places? Even if you’re only showing up in one or two places, are you trying to do too much when you’re there, right? When you are on social media, for example, are you posting and then getting out? Like you should still engage and obviously response to comments and engage on other accounts and these kinds of things.

But beyond that, are you spending a lot of time there? Like just draining yourself, draining your mental energy by consuming a lot of content? That’s not good for you either. Or maybe you’re overthinking by creating like a really complicated social strategy. And instead of you having to post like five different times a week, or instead of you posting on the fly, that’s even over complicated because you’re just making it hard on yourself by trying to post on the fly. It’s more stressful. It’s going to take more time. Can you commit to two solid things per week? Like you batch and plan and have an intentional strategy for, right? Peel back the layers. Make this consistent for a period of time with a focused strategy.

So those are the things that I would tell myself if I was feeling like quitting. These are the things I tell myself when I’m like, and I’m good. I still have my days, by the way. And I’m very honest about that. If we were getting coffee, I would tell you like, yeah, I have my days where I see one bad comment out of tons and tons of comments, but I see one bad one and I’m like, screw everybody, I’m out of here. I don’t want to do this anymore. Why am I doing this? There’s no winning. I can’t give people enough. Like I have my temper tantrum.

I’m just better now at probably wrapping that up a little bit faster and really recognizing what it is. And like, just saying like, saying to a friend or a coach being like, I just need to have my temper tantrum. Like, I just know what it is now. And I’m just pissed, I’m frustrated. It’s annoying. Screw this person who like wrote that thing, and then that’s it. And then I just like reset, and I’m back at it. Right.

But I can get back to it now, not only because I can label it for what it is, but I can reign it in and not go down that path of like what this means about me and I’m a terrible person and I’m not worth it and I shouldn’t do this, and this isn’t working. And I don’t need to do all of that anymore, right? But I am very much still a human and have the front end of the tantrum.

And I can also, by the way, come back to like this, like I’m making this choice. This is all part of it. This is to be expected. Unfortunately, there are keyboard warriors out there, for example. And so like people are going to be people. They’re going to be all peopley and that is part of my job. It doesn’t mean I have to like it or accept it or tolerate it, but it’s to be expected. So at least like if you saw that speed bump coming versus like you driving down the road and it was like an invisible speed bump that you hit going full force, and you’re like, oh my gosh, that would really hurt. Right. Versus like, yeah, I see you speed bump. I don’t like you. I don’t like going over speed bumps, but I see you. It’s fine.

So I hope that’s something, in this episode, was helpful to you. I always hope that something in the help in the episode is helpful to you, but I hope this episode was helpful. I hope that something resonated with you. I would love for you to respond to my email today, or when you listen to this episode or send me a DM on Instagram. I’m at @SamVanderWielen on Instagram. My DMs are always open. Send me a DM and let me know what was like the number one thing, which one of these five things we talked about today was the most impactful for you. What’s like going to be the biggest, I don’t know, soothing thing that you come back to in a tough moment?

So I’m here for you. I’m here to chat. You can always respond back and let me know. Like you might’ve been feeling this way lately or have felt this way in the past. Hopefully, this episode has been helpful to you. And I would encourage you to talk to your entrepreneur friends about this stuff, because I have a feeling that they feel some of this too. You could even send them this episode and be like we should talk about it.

But I have a feeling they feel this too, but it’s just not always something that people feel comfortable. They might be feeling the same thing as you. They might be feeling like they’re alone and feeling this way and they don’t want to bring it up. And maybe they’re contemplating quitting, but they haven’t said anything. And now you can start this conversation. So feel free to use this episode as the conversation starter.

With that, I can’t wait to see you next week. We’re talking about such a fun thing next week. It’s going to be a motivational episode about burnt pizza. I’ll just leave it at that. But I can’t wait to chat with you next week. And thank you so much for listening to On Your Terms.

Thanks so much for listening to the On Your Terms podcast. Make sure to follow on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen to podcasts. You can also check out all of our podcast episodes, show notes, links, and more at samvanderwielen.com/podcast. You can learn more about legally protecting your business and take my free legal workshop, Five Steps to Legally Protect and Grow Your Online Business at samvanderwillen.com. And to stay connected and follow along, follow me on Instagram at @SamVanderWielen and send me a DM to say hi.

Just remember that although I am a attorney, I am not your attorney, and I am not offering you legal advice in today’s episode. This episode and all of my episodes are informational and educational only. It is not a substitute for seeking out your own advice from your own lawyer. And please keep in mind that I can’t offer you legal advice. I don’t ever offer any legal services, but I think I offer some pretty good information.

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